Half a Year After Her Release: Former Hostage Arbel Yehud Speaks About Everything

Captivity survivor Arbel Yehud, who was held for 484 days by Islamic Jihad, marks half a year since her release from captivity these days. Her brother Dolev was murdered on 10/7 while her partner Ariel Cunio is still in the Gaza Strip, for 662 days now.

At the moment of release, I felt I was leaving him behind

– On the feelings during release: "Regarding my release, because it was quite a long and ongoing situation – I didn't know if it would blow up or not blow up. From the moment the deal entered, all the time what occupied me was this matter that I'm on the list and he's not. What you learn there throughout this entire period is that until it happens, it doesn't happen.

At the moment of release itself, the feelings intensified even more – about leaving behind and about really hoping he doesn't see me leaving. In my experience, for me, I hoped he doesn't see it because it's... I didn't want it to be even harder for him visually to see me leaving and know that he's staying. When I crossed the border I thought what this means for him, that I'm leaving him behind."

I can't imagine what they're going through

Arbel tries to convey the feelings of the hostages when a deal approaches and when it moves away: "All the time I try to imagine what they're going through when a deal blows up. And I compare it to what I experienced when the first deal blew up in 2023. If I felt how I felt, the feeling of abandonment and neglect and being left behind and maybe being forgotten. And maybe there's some kind of selection and discrimination here. I can't imagine what they're going through now to be in a ceasefire for two months and return to fighting and hear the bombings over their heads. And maybe some of them did see people leaving. And did hear details. It's simply a million times the feeling I felt then."

"The moment negotiations blow up – the treatment automatically changes. The conditions change. The conditions change for the worse the moment there's some feeling that the army is close to them. That they feel there's a matter of rescue. There those are terrifying moments. There those are moments when we have weapons pointed at us. It can be abuse. It can be psychological terror."

To take a brave step to end this

– On the current contacts: "I want to say to whoever can do it and whoever can, within one decision's distance to end this thing, to take a brave step, to act. I wake up every morning to news of another fallen soldier, and about more soldiers we've lost. And I keep grabbing my head and can't understand how. When I returned and people talked about 'cleared for publication' and I didn't really understand, all these slogans of 'cleared for publication,' I didn't really understand, and suddenly I'm living the reality that people have been living here for two years, that we literally open every morning with 'cleared for publication,' but for what? What purpose does this have? After all, military pressure doesn't get them out.

The elimination of senior officials was carried out and conquering more and more and more territory over the heads of our hostages, I can't understand for what, and I demand from those who can do it and whose hands aren't tied, to take a brave step to end this, to bring them back, to bring the soldiers home. To give us back the option to recover, an option to try to return to life that will never be the same again."

– On the rehabilitation process and the struggle to return the hostages: "It's hard for me to describe how this affects me, it's simply an event that hasn't ended, the days and nights look the same. I returned very purpose-driven, from the moment I crossed the border in longing. Beyond my personal feeling, that I'm leaving behind, I knew that the most important thing right now from the moment I'm leaving, is to be purpose-driven, to be in the struggle, and not let anything else divert me from this. I personally don't deal with my rehabilitation, I know it will weaken me that it will divert me from the struggle, so I'm entirely only in this."