When a Jewish Warrior Stays Behind
The exemption for men who built a home, planted a vineyard, or became engaged before war isn’t about pity — it’s about preparing the soul for death. True Jewish courage is not only how you live, but how you die.
“He may die and another man may take her.” (Devarim / Deuteronomy 20:7)
The Torah, in Parshat Shoftim (weekly portion), lists specific exemptions from military service:
At first glance, this seems puzzling. After all, every soldier heading into battle knows there’s a chance he may not return alive. Yet the Torah singles out these individuals and says: “Go home.” Why?
Rashi’s Explanation
Rashi (a foundational biblical commentator from 11th-century France) explains that these men would experience great anxiety in battle. The thought that someone else might enjoy the fruits of their labor — living in their home, marrying their bride, or harvesting their crops — would weigh heavily on their hearts.
But still, the question remains: Why does the Torah consider this enough reason to send them home? Isn’t every soldier already facing fear and uncertainty? Why is this different?
Dying as a Jew, Not Just Living as One
Here lies the deeper lesson. Being a faithful Jew isn’t only about how you live — it’s also about how you die.
In ancient warfare, battles weren’t like today. Soldiers didn’t die instantly from explosions. More often, they were wounded and left with moments — or hours — before death. In those final moments, a person had the opportunity to elevate their soul: to say the Shema (central Jewish prayer affirming God’s unity), to do vidui (confessional prayer before death), and to prepare spiritually to return to their Creator.
If someone is preoccupied with regret and bitterness — thinking, “Another man will marry my wife, live in my house, enjoy my vineyard”— his final thoughts won’t be focused on God. That’s why the Torah exempts him. It isn’t out of pity; it’s because, in this mental state, he cannot fulfill the role of a true Jewish warrior (milchemet mitzvah — a divinely mandated war).
Rabbi Gifter’s Story
Rabbi Mordechai Gifter, a leading 20th-century Rosh Yeshiva (head of a Jewish seminary), once shared a personal experience. He was on a plane that caught fire mid-flight. Panic spread. The flight attendants opened the bar, and many passengers began drinking heavily to numb their fear.
At that moment, two Beis Yaakov girls (students from a well-known Orthodox Jewish girls’ school network) approached Rabbi Gifter. Calmly, they asked him how they should prepare spiritually in case this was the end of their lives.
The contrast is striking: some ran from reality; others embraced it with faith and dignity.
This is the essence of the Torah’s teaching here: going to war isn’t just about fighting with your body; it’s about being ready — spiritually, mentally, and emotionally — to face the ultimate test.