Skip to main content

TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE

IDF Veteran: My biggest dream would be to get shot between my eyes right now | WATCH [EXTREMELY GRAPHIC]

 A Golani combat veteran from the "Iron Swords" war delivers a powerful, emotional testimony to the Knesset, describing the trauma of seeing his friends killed, a suicide attempt, and the neglect faced by psychologically wounded soldiers. He warns that a "garden of suicides" awaits if the state fails to provide proper care.

3 min read
Twitter icon for author's Twitter profileTwitter

During a session at the Knesset, a young IDF fighter described the horrors he has endured as a result of the war and the way that the state continues to fail him.

Here's what he said:

"I'm also a combat veteran from Iron Swords, Golani. I'm involved here in many things, hey, volunteering in the Knesset for a period, I know the Knesset a bit. We're dealing with many things here, but ultimately we're not dealing with what's really important.

I'm a 21-year-old kid and my best dream, if you ask me, is to take a bullet between the eyes. I'm a walking corpse, I'm a person who isn't living. Do you know what it's like to lift the bodies of your friends, who just a moment ago you sat with, ate snacks with, slept with and did basic training with, and a moment later they explode in front of your eyes? I lost 23 friends.

Three days ago a soldier committed suicide. A few months ago I injected myself with 3 grams of fentanyl because I couldn't bear it anymore, I couldn't see, I can't - I see bodies in front of my eyes. Now as I sit here at night I see bodies just like I see you now. I see my friends exploding before my eyes and they identified my friends, my brothers, only by their teeth. They identified friends, brothers of mine, and they're committing suicide here day by day. I injected myself with fentanyl, I was in a coma for months in critical condition and I don't want to live, I can't live. It's impossible to continue this situation.

If we're here for the living and if we don't wake up after this cursed war, there will be a garden of suicides here and we'll see bodies in the streets. We'll see anonymous people who will be criminals, will be drug addicts, and every day there will be suicides here if we don't wake up now. Now is the time, we have no time. There's no time, not today and not tomorrow - now, this moment. There's no time. We are living dead, we are walking corpses.

There's no time. We need the treatment we deserve. Without bureaucracy. Don't give us a million psychiatric pills. When I got to a psychiatrist, half an hour of examination and he gave me fifteen psychiatric pills. They're sending enough to sedate a horse. Rabbi, give me treatment. Take care of me. Why should I suffer this? Why should I endure all this? Why should I try to commit suicide every day? Two weeks ago ... I went to the cemetery and tried to commit suicide.

And they called the police because I tried to commit suicide. I took a knife and pills and tried to cut myself. If you see all my hands - knives, all my hands are cuts. Why am I being destroyed alone? This damned state, take care of me, take care of us! Hey, we're coming out of the area now! Take care of us, damn it! Who are we? We're transparent! We're fighters! We're not... Thank you."


Loading comments...